Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
