I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
