You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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