Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
