I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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