Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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