is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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