She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
