Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize