In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
