I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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