Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
