quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
