loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
