HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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