3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Terrible idea I love it
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
