it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
