insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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