3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
