I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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