Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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