And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
