Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize