Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
