no, he came in my armpit
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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