Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
