I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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