I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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