We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
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