I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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