and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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