if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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