shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
