I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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