If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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