umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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