is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
