Me too!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He shit in the fireplace
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