I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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