This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Don't make out with my wife yet
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
