Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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