I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
