You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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