Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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