found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
