wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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