I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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