My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
