you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize