why didn't you poke me back
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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