Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
