don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
