you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
