she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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