Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
