Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
