I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
