Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
