So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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