Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
