I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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