so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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