so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
