I love black thongs
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
