i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
