why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I deserve this hangover.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
