This dress was meant to end up on your floor
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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