I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize