i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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