Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
