Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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