he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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