Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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